‘I didn’t know what schizophrenia was’

In an interview to mark Mental Health Awareness Week, rapper Shocka talks frankly about his own diagnosis and how music can help with healing

In many traditional cultures, people who experience what Western medicine labels as severe mental illness are sometimes seen as undergoing a spiritual crisis that marks the beginning of becoming a healer. UK rapper Shocka knows that journey first-hand.

After being admitted to hospital four times under the Mental Health Act (‘sectioned’), and initially struggling to understand his diagnosis, he rebuilt himself through music and has transformed his experiences into purpose. Today, he uses his voice not only as an artist, but as an advocate for mental health. In celebration of Mental Health Awareness Week (May 11-17), Shocka speaks exclusively to Inside Rap about healing, purpose, and finding strength through music. 

“As an artist, I describe myself as a healer,” he says. “Anyone who has used their music to heal throughout history, please add me to that lineage. Because that’s exactly what I use my music for.”

For Shocka, music is more than just performative; it is a tool for survival and understanding. “The more I heal myself, the more I’ll be able to heal other people around me,” he explains. “Because most people in my world are a reflection of me. So as long as I understand who I am as a person, I’ll have a greater understanding of everyone around me.”

That clarity didn’t come without struggle. Looking back, Shocka explains.“Some of the toughest moments during my mental health period, when I got sectioned, were not having the language to articulate myself.” He adds: “Do you know how scary it is to go through an experience and not be able to explain that experience to someone else in a way that they can understand and be able to provide you with answers?”

Receiving a diagnosis brought new challenges. He was told he had schizophrenia, but initially had little understanding of what that meant. “I didn’t know what schizophrenia was,” he says. “That’s what I was diagnosed with. I only knew it from an African standpoint, which means that you’re possessed or something evil has happened to you, but I didn’t know it from a Western standpoint, and I couldn’t relate to anyone because I didn’t know anyone around me that had it. 

I had to be quiet and just keep it to myself.”

That sense of isolation made the experience even harder. Over time, however, Shocka has used his platform to help him better understand his diagnosis and connect with others facing similar struggles. “Thank God for social media,” he says. “All these different pages and outlets are releasing information and helping me understand my diagnosis even more. Now I can have conversations with people, now I can relate to people more, now I can share my story more.”

Music became the turning point. “Writing music was a game-changer in terms of helping me deal with my mental health and express myself,” he explains. “Because I’m not a person that is extremely expressive in day-to-day conversations … being able to use my music to go into the studio and just talk about the most vulnerable things, and express myself in that way, was amazing because it allowed me to open up about stuff I wouldn’t say in a normal conversation.”

That ability to speak openly through music has changed how others see him too. “Music has definitely given me a voice,” he says. “I remember when I did the Grenfell freestyle in 2017 and it went viral. Everyone was posting it, everyone was sharing it, and I couldn’t believe that my thoughts impacted so many people in that way.”

Alongside becoming one of the most important voices in British rap, Shocka has also gained valuable lessons from working with pioneers of the UK scene, including Skinnyman, Durrty Goodz and Bushkin. Reflecting on those experiences, he says: “Musically they taught me longevity, and personally I realised how humble they are.”

Today, his focus extends beyond music. He sees speaking openly about mental health as a responsibility: “Mental health awareness; I’m happy I’m a voice for it, and it’s so important because I know what it feels like to go through depression, anxiety, have any sort of terrible mental health diagnosis you’re going through and not know where to start or where to go for information.” 

He hopes his journey can help others feel less alone, especially those still searching for answers. “I would love to be a beautiful representation for Black people especially, all people, but Black people especially,” he says, adding: “I’d love to be that representation that they can just look at my journey and just find something in my journey that helps them find the answers they’re looking for.”

For readers facing their own struggles, his advice is simple but powerful. “Find your purpose,” he says. “Purpose heals.” 

To young artists using their music to cope with emotions or struggles, Shocka has this advice: “It’s a beautiful thing to do, and what’s the most rewarding part about it is that not only are you healing yourself, you’re going to heal other people that listen to you. So it’s a two-way thing. You’re going to heal yourself, you’re going to heal others, and you leave a beautiful legacy and you see how rewarding it is. So keep doing it.”

Reflecting on his own journey, he hopes listeners understand the strength behind his story. “I want them to take away the power of healing,” he says. “I want them to understand that the person that they listen to is someone that went through so much, got sectioned four times, lost both of my parents, relationships went wrong, my group broke up. All these things happened and I managed to use the power of art to heal myself and build myself back together. So I would want them to take away from my story the power of healing.” 

He adds, “I also want them to take away that you can turn your situation around at any point.”

Shocka’s book, A Section of My Life, was published in 2023 by Trigger Publishing. It can be ordered from Waterstones, price £18.99.